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10 Secret Ingredients to Happy Marriage Recipe!

Filed under : Happily Ever After

Who is this person I’m living with? Where has engagement romance gone? I think I made a huge mistake? All these thoughts and many other pop up in the mind unvoiced at first days of marriage. And because, in today’s hectic world, the chance for a better understanding is getting slimmer, we give you here the recipe for happy marriage.

1- Get to Know your Partner 

Like all agreements, marriage has it own contract which develops in some countries into a real partnership contract with each party including his/her conditions. this contract is a mean for each partner to get to know that the other partner likes and dislikes, i.e. knowing each other.


Some may say that they knew their partners or been engaged long enough to know each other. But what we’re talking about here is life under the same roof. And you bet it’s quite different.


 A friend who married after a long love story talked about how she felt SCARED during the marriage first few months, and kept asking herself if she could “go on with this anymore!” the reason was that she felt her husband was a total stranger and her new house even further heightened this feeling.


Obviously as each partner comes from a different household culture, when they end up together, they are just as good as an Indian and a Chinese living together in the African Sahara.


Each one has his own deep-rooted habits which are so hard to change. Spot the ones you like, and commend them, and note those you dislike and subtly bring them up.


A friend complained of her husband’s bad breath. She didn’t know how to bring it up. Then she raised the issue as if she were suffering from it herself “did you know baby that yoghurt is just perfect for breath? Honey, the dentist told me that brushing teeth and tongue twice a day kills all mouth germs”. And she bought him something to end this problem; a new chocolate toothpaste which did the trick.


2- Respect your In-Laws 

There is a proverb to the effect that “when two people get married, two families get hooked“. Your in-laws may be incredible bores, gossipy and nosy, or tacky and embarrassing. Whatever type you’ve inherited, welcome them with open arms no matter what you think of them. Remember that they raised this terrific partner of yours. Even if you deep down believe that he/she turned out less than normal due to some sort of divine intervention.



3- Solve your Own Problems 

One of the most devastating acts in marriage is taking the case outside the partners. Many partners tend to “get a third opinion” on the problems they’re experiencing. But this third party (whether friends, family or colleagues) would never see the whole picture to make the just ruling.


Hold problem-solving sessions only when something big comes up ( Not things like “he doesn’t take off his shoes outside”).


4- Married Life isn’t Everything; Extend Yourself 

Life becomes awfully narrow when your social life revolves exclusively around other couples. So once you’re wed, keep mixing things up: his and your friends, work and school friends, neighbors and family, singletons and smug marrieds, parents of twins and the child-free. Marriage is not a prison sentence; it’s a lifetime commitment of companionship and understanding. You both need breathing space. So love can flourish and grow.



5- Honesty, Honesty, and More Honesty! 

If honesty is the best policy in general, it’s so in particular for married couples. It nourishes trust, develops love, and deepens the bond between them. Needless to say, it also shuts the door in the face of many troubles.


Face, admit and work on solving your problems. Hiding behind a screen will not make them disappear. And ignoring them will only build them up into a dormant volcano ready to erupt at any time, pouring out lava of pain, anger and disappointment.


I knew someone, now is all alone, who used to cover up things he thought might annoy his wife. When his cover was blown, a mountain of lies came out, and … you know the rest!


6- Keep the Balance between Giving and Taking 

Marriage is a mutual relationship. That implies equality between the two partners; in duties, as in responsibilities. Love is all about giving, but mind you, this does not mean that one party should take advantage of the other. Even in particulars such as house chores, the two partners must have their share of these. Not because she is a woman, she must undertake such chores. A sudden sharing gesture, especially when she most needs it, would pay off enormously, even in other aspects of the relation. (Don’t ask me, you already know!).


7- Keep Marriage Sexually Satisfying 

Don’t be embarrassed to talk about your sexual needs or fears with your partner. If you are not satisfied in bed or if you feel that your partner has a sexual problem, choose the right moment and discuss it with him/her. This is a thorny subject in our eastern culture that should be dealt with carefully. And because men are supposed to take the initiative (which is not really fun when it goes on for ever), I advice them to learn all about sex from reliable sources. And please forget about pornographic materials in general; they are misleading.


Following are some interesting, mostly scientific facts about this subject.

Men are faster than women when it comes to orgasm, so they must take their time and get their partners in the mood.

Women appreciate a romantic setting before the act (play the music she loves, buy her flowers, give her a massage, dim the room, tell her funny and sexy jokes, be tender).

Women have much more erogenous zones than men, which is a great advantage for both. They also can reach multiple orgasms compared to men who need some time to regain their power after first orgasm (almost half an hour).

Men tend to break away from women when they are done which is so disappointing, and even demeaning, to women who need to feel that his interest was not only sexual. She needs a tender hug, and a few words of love, or even appreciation.


If you have a serious problem in this matter, please don’t hesitate to consult a specialist together. And if you are not comfortable with the idea, at least each one of you should seek professional help on his/her own. Many marriages collapsed due to failure in this respect.


8- Never Forget Romance 

Don’t underestimate the power of sweet words in a candlelight dinner with music, it can work wonders. So despite your hectic schedule, find the time to express your love and never take your partner for granted. Don’t stop being romantic, sexy, spontaneous and crazy in love. Take salsa lessons, get tickets for a live concert and go for a date. Most important, don’t ever forget the power of an unexpected drop-everything smooch.


9- Be Thankful for Your Partner 

When married life makes you think back to your sensational single days with longing, the love of your life is driving you bananas; it is time to remember how sexy/ smart/ sensitive your partner was the night you first decided he/she is ‘the one’. Remember how lucky you felt to have someone who puts up with all your nonsense. Commend the special touch your partner has in your life. And say “thank you” out loud.


10- Keep the Respect for Each Other 

Lack of compassion and mutual respect during heated discussions is the poison to kill your love and marriage gradually. Always show respect in words and in acts, weather you’re two alone or among others.


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