Amy Mwafi: Uncovering the enigma!
To some she is a symbol of women’s liberation, to others she’s just a talented young Egyptian girl making use of her personal experiences to carve a name out for herself in the tough world of journalism. That is why Amy Mowafi, the author of the controversial book “Fe-mail: the trials and tribulations of being a Good Egyptian Girl”, is an enigma herself, one that we will try to uncover.
Amy, who was born and raised in London, arrived in Cairo in 2002 after graduating from the University of Bath with a Bsc (Hos) in business administration. With her spirit, wit, education, talent; she quickly became the managing editor of Enigma magazine; one of the Arab world’s leading English lifestyle publications.
With her book selling like hot cakes topping the charts as a best seller for the fourth month in a row, and with the success of her weekly show on OTV, el osool bet’ool, Amy is definitely getting more and more attention. I sat with Amy to listen to what she had to say about love, life, marriage and motherhood, and let me tell you…bad girls never sounded so good.
Amy, congratulation on the outstanding successes of Fe-mail, how does it feel to see your dream coming true?
I don’t know if my dream has come true just yet! I’d love to write a ‘real’ novel one day. The opportunity came up for me to publish my column, and I did it and the result has far exceeded all my expectations. I never imagined anyone other than my mother would actually buy the book, and suddenly it’s this bestseller! So of course I’m thrilled, and grateful, and very satisfied in terms of the success of this book. But in terms of the bigger picture, my own personal ambitions, there’s still a lot I want and have to do!
What do you say to those who took it against you that the book is too light?
Look, I didn’t set out to right a novel. This ‘book’ started out as column on the back page of Enigma magazine, and it was never intended as a book. It is what it is – a fun, flighty entertaining read. I’ve never claimed otherwise. It’s not meant to be War and Peace! I’m not trying to change the world through this ‘book’, or send any messages about feminism or the Arab world. I’m not some sort of socio-political expert. I’m a writer, a story-teller. I comment on the world around me, and I try to do it in an entertaining way. And in this case that world is Arab high-society with all its glitz, glamour, idiosyncrasies and hypocrisies. If you’re expecting Dickens, Dostoevsky or even Naguib Mahfouz, you might be better off looking elsewhere!
How was it like to growup in an Egyptian family in London? Was it easy for you as a child to understand the differences between both cultures and traditions?
I was born in England; my mother was born in England, so it never seemed something odd. Plus we were never a part of any Arab community so we were very integrated. I went to a very traditional private British school, and that was the world I knew. At the same time, however, it was always drilled into us that we are Egyptian first and foremost, and to take great pride in that, in our history and heritage. Ironically, when you live in England you become more protective of your traditions than you are when you live in Egypt, because you’re more tangibly aware of the differences. I come to Egypt, and suddenly find that all these kids around are doing the things that I was taught were ‘wrong’ and suddenly it doesn’t seem so dire!
Did you find it hard to adapt and carve out to success in the Egyptian male-dominated society?
I was very lucky because as soon as I landed in Cairo I started my Masters in Journalism and Mass communication at the AUC and at the same time I started working at enigma. Both those environments are very international, so I didn’t suffer from that immediate culture shock. At least not at first! As for carving out success in a ‘male-dominated’ society…look, I’ve never felt that there is anything I can’t or shouldn’t achieve as a woman. I’m loath to think that gender is either a help or a hindrance. You knuckle down, you work hard, you put hours in, you stay tenacious, and eventually, you get what you want, whether you’re a man or a woman.
In your book you are constantly mocking both guys and girls, so which side are you on exactly, do you blame the guys for the girl’s behaviour or the girls for the guys attitudes?
What I am mocking is hypocrisy in both guys and girls. In Egypt as women we are taught to act, to give of the image of the ‘good girl’. We live a double life, a public one, the one where you’re the purest princess in all the land, and the private one, where you’re not quite so spotless! And then we blame guys for making those demands from us when we weren’t even honest with them in the first place. At the same time guys are being very hypocritical in their demands; if you want the virgin girl fair enough, I respect you for that, but are you the virgin boy?!
How do you find the reaction of the international media about the book with the LA Times calling you “the spokesperson for the rebellious Arab girls” and the Washington Times describing you as someone who is trying to cash in on global anti-Islamic sentiments?
I think the international media always needs a poster child for their agendas. The LA Times was more positive than the Washington Times, presenting me as feminist. But I hate that word; it puts us on the back foot because there’s an inherent assumption in that notion that we’re not equal. However, my religion told me over a millennium ago, that I am equal just different. And I revel in those differences, and I have nothing to prove. You work hard, you get what you want. End of discussion. As for the Washington Times, well what can I say? They’re known for being quite anti-Arab, but their analysis of the book was verging on the ridiculous. Anyone who has bothered to read it knows I have no political or religious agenda whatsoever! It’s a fun, funny book. Simple as that!
How do you find your TV experience? Did it help you better understand the Arab mentality? And did it help Arabs better understand yours?
The program has been fantastic promotional tool for me. I usually work in an English medium, which limits my market, but it’s an Arabic show and suddenly I have a potential audience of 70 million people. And what more can someone who works in the media ask for!? For now, The show is a lot of fun and I think it is a great experience as well. The calls I get from viewers have, at times, blown my mind, and really highlighted the extreme differences that exist in our society. One woman was insistent on driving home a man’s right to tell me when I can or can’t speak and when I can or can’t leave the house. And what’s interesting, is that when I counteract that, I’m accused of trying to promote Western ideals. It’s insane! I appreciate that I’m coming from a different society, but all I’m trying to say is that a woman, whatever her background, is not a second class citizen and she should never, whatever the social or cultural circumstances, accept to be treated as such. A relationship is a two way street, a partnership. It’s not a manager employee dynamic, which so many of the women who call into the show seem insanely insistent on adhering to!
Between writing, TV, leading a glamorous social life and managing a top-notch magazine, do you still have time for ‘the boy’?
Well I don’t actually have a glamorous social life, that’s what the people don’t realize. I think it is very easy to look at the photos of events or see the TV shows or read the stories in the book and assume that I am out there all the time. But the fact is I am either working in the office or at home, or when I am not I don’t have the desire or the energy to be out there partying anymore. I did that when I was younger. I got it out of my system. So I try to make time for the boy, I try to spend a few days with him in London or Dubai (where he lives) and when he comes to Egypt, I’ll take a few days off, and devote them to him. It has taken me along time to learn how to do that and to achieve some sort of balance and I am still learning. Plus the long distance relationship works perfectly for me because I am usually so busy, and if he was living in Egypt I don’t think I would give him as much attention or as much quality time.
What was it that you were searching for in a man and did you find it in the boy?
I never really searched for the boy. I have never been one of these people who need to be in a relationship. I am usually single; the exception for me is to be in a relationship. He came to me, we met at a party and I have found in him all the things I need. He is he is generous, kind, giving and secure. And I am very impressed by the fact that he is not intimated by me, my insanity and the success I am trying to achieve. He is not intimidated by my ambition and he is very respectful, encouraging and proud of it. He is very ambitious himself, which is more important for me than what’s in his pocket. He has built himself on his own, and is not dependent on daddy’s money like so many Egyptian men of a certain class. At the same time he understands that I am a woman and, every woman still wants the fairy tale and still wants to feel like a princess and he is able to achieve at the same time as giving me the respect every woman deserves, and I admire him the most for that.
The book is full of stories about you and your mum, so talk to us about the kind of relationship you both have?
We have a very acrimonious relationship; we barely know how to talk to each other and though I hate to admit it, I think that is because we are very similar so we really do clash. However I appreciate her and I utterly respect her and I do admire her.
Do you think she managed to make a balance between her career and her family?
Well my mother always loved kids and she was incredibly hands on. So although she ran her own businesses, she was there in the morning she was there after school, she read us stories, she played with us. Our house was always very open and it was the house that kids could come over to at anytime.
What was the best advice she has ever given you?
Well in the terms of advice I have always turned to my father. And the most important thing he taught us is that anything is possible if you put in the time and effort. His motto is, ‘You don’t get what you think you deserve, you get what you earn. So earn it.’
What is the one thing you would care the most to teach your kids?
To be themselves, to find what they love, and work damn hard for it.
Seems like there is a lot behind Amy Mowafi’s bad-girl façade and I guess we will all have to wait for her novel to see what goes inside the mind of this rebellious Egyptian girl. In the mean time we can’t help but admire her for being able to say and do what most of us couldn’t and accept the fact that maybe, just maybe, Amy Mowafi is an enigma that is not made to be uncovered.