Time heals all wounds, they say. But sometimes the wound is so deep and the pain is so unbearable! It happens sometimes that time can be harsh on you; it can be your constant reminder of your broken heart, but life has to move on! You might be broken but that’s ok. You don’t need to do anything you’re not ready to do. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you to be something you’re not. All you need to do is just learn to live with it and be happy. Here are some tips to ease on the healing road…
Get busy Finding your perfect distraction, the things you could lose yourself with. It can be anything; your work, your hobbies, books or movies. Discover mini passions, try new things, unleash your potentials. I personally discovered my two ultimate passions when I was at the deepest and darkest pits. Remember all the things you wanted to do but didn’t have the time for? Remember wanting to go to classes or trips but couldn’t, due to your packed schedule? It’s time for all those plans to get squeezed in.
Grab a piece of paper now and write down a list of all the things you would do if you don’t have anything else to do.
Make monthly challenges, then weekly, and then daily. The trick here is to make them happen one by one; be it a class to attend or a new language to learn, or even climbing on Mount Everest.
I get it. It’s easier to be alone sometimes! But you need people around as you must have less time alone with your head. People judge all the time and try to tell you what to do? Fine, you don’t have to talk about anything that makes you feel bad. Surround yourself with those friends who would really be there when you collapse and never judge you. You should be looking for those who will be honest with you, trust in your choices, give you room to breathe and vent, and even a shoulder to cry on.
You might also wanna try joining events: book clubs, hobbies, activities, or a support group. Get to know new people, meet strangers and widen your circle. It works like magic, trust me.
Pay It Forward
Help someone in need. Dedicate your time to actually doing something valuable. If you have the time, you can always volunteer. Take a step forward in a big project, a small portion of your time that might change someone else’s life.
You can also give a class in something you’re good at, or write something useful, some tips, maybe a tutorial or an article that would help someone who might be lost.
Get to Know Yourself More
Think of yourself as someone else, do you know that person? Would you like to be friends with you? Do you know what makes you angry, what interest you? Do you know your limitation? Do you know what it takes to make you happy? If the answer is no, then set your priorities straight. In order to take your first steps towards happiness and success, you will need to know and LOVE that person first! Discover yourself and find those things that you’re really passionate about. Then, find ways to make small tangible achievements towards pursuing your passions.
Knowing yourself is not easy; it needs time, effort and also courage. In order to be able to achieve that, you would need to: go through many experiences (try new hobbies, new classes, new activities, travel, etc), master contemplating (maybe it’s the time to start keeping a journal), and find an honest friend (or a family member).
Many of us fall for the trap of believing that finding “The One” is the solution to all their problems, or that it’ll make them feel less lonely. Finding your other half can be really helpful but something important needs to be established first, which is finding your own self. You can’t find the right person for you, if you don’t know anything about yourself: your interests, your shortcomings and your values. When you rush into a relationship, it might feel like you’re healing a wound; but you also can risk breaking yourself beyond repair.
Instead of looking for a person to complete you, find a person to complement your picture.
Find the one who would be the perfect support to what you have in mind for yourself. Find that person who would make life bearable, rather than heal you. In fact, no one can actually heal you. They can just love you, they can give you reasons to live, and support you to achieve your plans and make life the way you think is best for you.
Be Your Own Therapist
Be mindful of what’s going on with you. Don’t be afraid to face the truth! Keeping a journal might help, so as contemplating your own moods and reactions.
Yes; you might be depressed, having traumas and bad days, and no one would ever imagine the pain you’re going through. But be gentle and easy on yourself. Let yourself cry and give yourself a break. And finally let yourself feel and learn the person that you are from inside out.