How many times did someone make you feel itchy with their unwelcomed and uninvited flirting, yet they left you unable to voice your discomfort because they were too subtle and vague in their advances? Well, it gets twice as uncomfortable and four times as frustrating when it is coming from your boss!!
You find yourself feeling unsure whether you are just being paranoid or perhaps sensitive, and you end up getting lost in all your mixed thoughts about whether to react, will your reaction be unprofessional or not, or what if it is deemed crazy, hysterical and uncalled-for?!!!
In a country like Egypt, where there are no strict laws prohibiting sexual harassment and where labor law gives the employer quite enough room to manipulate the law to the disadvantage of their employees, one can give up all hope about serious action taken against a flirty boss -except of course if you are among the lucky ones who work for a multinational company; as those are governed by strict Codes of Conduct made to limit and control that kind of behavior.
However, the problem still remains embedded deep within Egypt’s social fabric and its perception of what’s appropriate and what’s not. You will still find people who condemn your decision to report a playful boss. You will still be the weaker party, even though in a better world you should be the one with leverage. Co-workers would still come and tell you that you should have kept your head down instead of stirring conflict in the workplace; giving you the tough choice between being the villain who caused trouble or the helpless victim who may and should only take abuse.
Well, if you’re too worried about your career to take on the role of the prodigal villain, no one said you should accept the role of the victim; instead, you can gain some control to overcome the power difference between your boss and yourself by nipping their attempts in the bud and leaving little room for the flirting.
Here are a couple of things you can do to avoid the repercussions of standing up to a frisky boss and risking embarrassment, social stigma and/or your career.
1- Avoid being alone with your flirty boss in closed spaces. If you need their approval on work development, send them an email asking for feedback. It also serves as a professional documentation of your work!!
2- Don’t play along. When that boss lingers around your desk making such unwelcomed moves, don’t smile with embarrassment and nod out of courtesy; instead, give blank looks and keep busy with whatever task on hand. Hopefully, they’ll get bored, or even better, they might get too embarrassed and walk away.
3- If the flirting gets too obvious to be ignored by the above approach, quit playing dumb and look your boss straight in the eyes without saying anything. Channeling your dismay towards their behavior through a cold glare usually does the trick for a flirt usually gets intimidated by that kind of reaction as they sense the other person’s strength of character.
4- Whenever possible, keep your discussions loud and precise; moreover, try to include more people in those discussions with all due respect to any relevant work confidentiality.
5- Mind your posture. Sometimes we tend to stretch or slouch in our seats after sitting there for long hours which may send the wrong message to a frisky boss. Be careful with your body language and don’t give room for any misunderstandings that may “justify” unwelcomed flirting.
6- Form a strong social network at the workplace. You may not be able to outrank your boss on your own, but you can counter their power by having the right social connections at work. You don’t necessarily need to get them involved with your concerns, but it helps to have people who can serve as judges of character if it ever comes down to your word versus your boss’s (if he/she ever decides to take you down for rejecting their flirting.)
It is very important that you remain firm and strong with your playful boss, and you must never respond to their flirting or send out mixed signals that may be misinterpreted into encouragement on your part. Don’t let that kind of a boss discourage you from achieving your goals, consider it a challenge and work around it to prove yourself even more.
3 Comments
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Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular post!
It is the little changes that make the most
significant changes. Thanks for sharing!
An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you should write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers