As a guy, being macho and stuff, most of the time you act without knowing why and speak not minding the words! I guess that’s why they say “men are children”. But in fact, it’s just that you’ve never really got in touch with your feelings. Simple? Yes. Easy? NO! What if there was a manual for it? Men are always good with manuals! I mean… follow the steps: 1, 2, 3. When this happens, do that! Piece of cake, right? Guess what!! There is a manual to get in touch with your inner feelings! Yes, and you are reading it right now! Well, easy pal, I am gonna get into the point right away, I know there is a derby you need to catch!
1) “I think she is my soul mate, but I love my girlfriend too. I guess I’m in love with both!”
News flash: There is no such a thing as (I love two at the same time). The thing is, every time you feel like a girl is your soul-mate, it simply means she is a MIND-TEASER. You love the talks, you love the discussions, and you really have fun together.
The Problem: You took Shallow Hal’s road, and you got distracted by the double Ds rather than the real person.
The FIX: Dude! Since you chose your girlfriend only for the looks, now you know how personality is really important. Even if you feel like you love her; you are big enough to know that love is not everything, and also double Ds. You really need someone in your life whom you can depend on. Try to find common things between you and your girlfriend. Do new activities together. Get to know each other’s friends. Share hobbies. This will help you get to know the person better. If you didn’t like what you see, then maybe it is time to go.
2) “I am not going that extra mile”
News flash: Boy, oh boy! You might be suffering from this syndrome called “broken heart”.
The Problem: You have unresolved issues from your past experience that left you in a combo of anger, pain and trust issues.
The Fix: Time heals all. But with time, you gotta do some self-improvement. Open up to people. Try to re-gain the trust. You have learned a lot from your past experience, so don’t forget that. But also don’t forget to let the love in. It’s your road to glee. Guaranteed!!
3) “It is not like I am cheating”
News flash: Just saying that, the odds are it is cheating.
The Problem: People cheat for so many reasons. Maybe because there is something missing or you have been in the relation for so long. Or maybe it’s the simple old reason, YOU ARE A PLAYER!
The Fix: Get honest with yourself. Know the reason why you are cheating. Imagine yourself being cheated on and try to understand how much it hurts. And most importantly, man-up and fix it.
4) “I feel trapped!”
News flash: You’re not ready YET!
The Problem: You have been together for a long time, and you must take the next step.
The Fix: If you don’t feel like meeting the parents…DON’T. If you don’t feel like getting married… DON’T. No!! You are not being unfair! If you are not happy, you can’t make her happy; that is what’s unfair. Talk to her; tell her you aren’t ready yet. I know.. girls tend to get the feeling that they are doing something wrong in such situations, and end up putting more pressure on you; which leaves you feeling even more trapped!! So for future talk plans, just say the WHY, WHAT and WHEN; and she will understand. This is a decision of two; work it out as a team.
5) “I am not a one woman guy”
News flash: If you say that like you mean it… GO SEE A SHRINK! If you say that and understand it is a problem you need to fix…respect for that, but please GO SEE A SHRINK.
The Problem: You walk around like the alpha male or prom king, all baffled by the movie-created illusion of “Commitment Issues”. MAN!! Grow up. This is the real world. All your talks about “commitment issues” are just because you don’t want to get hurt.
The FIX: Choose right. Let go a lil’. Open up a lil’. And stay true! Even if you end up getting hurt, you will learn a lot about yourself. It is a WIN-WIN situation.
By Aya Abdulrahman